How to Overcome Disappointment- Ogechi Adili

Let me share a little story with you.


I remember being heartbroken when I lost a scholarship opportunity due to a change in government.


I felt broken, cheated, and crushed.


“Why me?”, I kept on asking.


How can it get to my turn and things suddenly decide to go south?

Here I am, years later and I’m doing just fine. I later heard the scheme was fraudulent.

Disappointment if not handled with the right mind can hinder growth.

This article is written to show you how to overcome disappointment unscarred.


Allow yourself to feel: One sure way of overcoming disappointment is to allow yourself to feel the disappointment. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and process them in a healthy way. You are human and you are allowed to feel. Shying away from the feeling will only make things worse and living in denial is harmful to mental health. 

Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and understand that it’s okay to feel disappointed.You have been disappointed, yes but it’s not the end of the road. Disappointment is part of life’s training experience. Try your best not to remain boxed or caged by your feelings. You are not the first human to be disappointed and you definitely won’t be the last. 

 Identify the root cause: Try to comprehend you are feeling disappointed and figure out any underlying issues. When doing this, you have to remove yourself from the current situation and self-reflect impersonally. Have an objective look at the situation and try to identify what you didn’t do right. If you have done this impartially and discovered it wasn’t your fault, this is not a time to grovel in pain. Seek out better solutions and opportunities.

Concentrate on the positives: Look for the silver lining in the situation and try to find something to be grateful for. You never can tell, the disappointment might be a blessing in disguise. Successful people do not dwell on failures they experienced in the past. They find a way to learn from their circumstances and turn them into gold. Having this mindset will save you a lot of time and stress.

Establish realistic expectations: Adjust your expectations to be more in line with reality to avoid future disappointments. Imagine hoping to sell 3000 copies of your book within two weeks of marketing as a newbie Author. This might sound possible to a zealous mind but it isn’t realistic. This is one reason people end up not achieving the long list of tasks they write on New Year’s Eve. Anyone who sets realistic expectations will reduce his or her chances of being disappointed.

Seek help: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings to gain perspective and support. No man is an island. You never know whose suggestion might get you out of that challenge. Seeking help doesn’t make you dumb or weak. It shows how ready you are for growth and change. Do not expect people to know what you are going through and expect help if you don’t ask for it. They aren’t angels and a negative reaction from them might further damage your mind thereby making situation worse. Even the Bible encourages asking. It is when you ask, you will receive. 

Learn from the experience: Use the disappointment as a learning opportunity and grow from it. Learning from the experience will not only help you grow, it will save you from making similar errors or encountering similar issues in the future. It will also equip you with knowledge to help others too.

 Exercise mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and focus on what you can control. Life sometimes will demonstrate its characteristics of being life. There definitely will be situations you can’t control. Focus on the ones who have grasp over and leave the rest. Trying to be everywhere will get you nowhere. To overcome disappointment, your eyes must consistently be on the goal and your heart in the moment.

Engage in self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally to help cope with disappointment. Avoid anything that would ruin your well-being and rather encourage activities that would boost your well being. The mind is the man. Once it’s affected, it comes with a negative ripple effect. 

 Restructure your thinking: Challenge negative thoughts and try to see the situation from a different perspective. The mind is like an open space with a storage unit. To overcome disappointment one needs to guard it diligently and choose carefully what he or she allows into the mind. If you have been disappointed there is every tendency to think you are not good enough. Shun such thoughts and focus on the positive things going on for you. 

 Stay optimistic: Maintain a positive outlook and believe that things will get better in the future. This is similar to the previous point discussed. An optimistic is a mind that has chosen toeave behind all negatives and look at the brighter side of things. An optismtic person will always maintain a cheerful deposition no matter what and this disposition will always attract good things and good people. No one likes to be around melancholic people. Staying optimistic is one sure way to overcome disappointment.

 Move forward: Once you have processed your disappointment, let go of the negativity and focus on moving forward with a renewed sense of hope and resilience. At this stage you aren’t expected to remain at the same spot. You are expected to take relevant steps necessary for growth and development. Now you have set realistic expectations, this is the point where you are expected to act towards realizing those expectations. If it’s a certification you need, enroll for that course. If it’s something you need to start, just start. Moving forward is a clear sign that you have overcome your previous situation.

Implementing these ideas discussed will not be a walk in the park but if you set your mind to be free from hurt and pain and embrace a better version of yourself while maintaining a resolute attitude, you will achieve success.


I hope this message speaks to you.




Ogechi Adili
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